deeRock

It was only a kiss…

Stop looking for deeper meanings. It’s a simple gesture. A simple hug, a simple kiss, why make it so complicated? Pft…look who’s talking. Yes, it’s understandable that we want to believe that there’s something more, it’s our basic instincts driving us to find meaning in everything and it’s hard to fight against that, but, sometimes, things just happen. Call it coincidence, fate, destiny…life. Doesn’t matter as long as it makes us feel comfortable, as long as it fits our beliefs because, when we get to the root of it, there are only two outcomes: either you believe that there’s an ultimate consequence (in which case your life is adding up to that last moment some call ‘eternity’), or you believe that your actions here and now are all that matter, nothing more. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t always get what you want.

A little song I wrote…

“More than that”

Sitting next to me the first time we met,
Our conversation was so simple and short yet.
Something was different ’bout you not sure why,
Just another girl I thought and drifted off in my mind.

Days gone by and no idea how,
I ended up on the phone with you somehow.
You were looking for your friend you needed some help,
But she wasn’t there so I offered my hand.

Well fate had our paths crossed again,
Though sometimes things also happen by chance.
And so that’s how it went,
You and me became good friends.

Somehow I knew it meant more than that,
No words could describe the feeling I had.
Never got the courage to tell you how I felt,
For I knew we were both on a different track.

We didn’t see each other much after that,
The time we had too little to share.
Too few moments we had together,
But it felt like we were closer than ever.

Many times we caught each other’s eyes,
So many things hiding I thought I would die.
Nothing would come out no reason why,
I know you felt the same but it’s too hard to try.

Well fate had our paths crossed again,
Though sometimes things also happen by chance.
And so that’s how it went,
You and me became good friends.

Somehow I knew it meant more than that,
No words could describe the feeling I had.
Never got the courage to tell you how I felt,
For I knew we were both on a different track.

You had me, the moment, everything felt so right.
But tell me, how could we, so easily have, let it slipped away.

And there we were saying goodbye,
You had to leave wasn’t really your choice.
One last kiss and one last hug,
Everything I’ll treasure for you were the one.

Finales, finales

I don’t follow too many TV series but as of tonight, two of my favorite shows come to an end: 24 and Lost. Also the season finale of House. POSSIBLE SPOILERS BE WARNED!

Let’s start with Lost.

The finale is most definitely a hate-it-or-love-it ending. For those emotional ones who are as attached to the characters as rice on beans, it was the perfect ending: everyone together, moving on, Jack closing his eyes, happily ever after (literally). For those who actually cared about solving all the mysteries, it was the worst ending EVER. Sure, we know where the black rock came from. We know about the history of the island. We know fake John Locke is the smoke monster. We know the lingering souls are the whispers, but, what about the numbers? What about the lighthouse? What about the Dharma Initiative? What about Walt? What the heck happened to him? You get the idea, I could go on and on for another six seasons if I wanted to (okay maybe not, five at most). I was expecting a lot more from the show. Ever since the first episode of the final season the drama has been building up and up and the show had the audience thinking about an all-out war, between Jacob and his candidates and Fake Locke with his followers, between good and evil. Come on, what’s the point about the whole keeping the wine (evil) contained in the glass with the cork (the island), we don’t even know what the island really is. What are these “rules”? Why all the splitting up and picking sides? These are all up for interpretation and we’ll never really know. I do have to admit it was very well filmed. My eyes did get watery seeing the scene of Sun and Jin dying. Seeing Charlie dying. That was about it. I’m glad I don’t have to obsess about it anymore. Looking up every reference they make. Every book they mentioned. Every damn single connection (actually I stopped doing that after the second season, it was too much). So, to sum it all up, Lost was, is, and will be one of the most intriguing and complicated shows that TV has seen in decades. The following video sums it up.

College Humor Lost Unanswered Questions

Now onto 24.

It all went downhill when Jack stopped and listened to Chloe and didn’t shoot the Russian bastard and damn Logan in their office. I’m certain Jack would have done it if it weren’t for the need to move 24 to the big screen. I should have listened to my friend and should have stopped watching it after the, well first season. But no, my obsession got the best of me. So, this finale pretty much sets up the plot for the movie to be released in 2012. Jack is a fugitive again, except this time he’s running from, well I wouldn’t put it that way, Jack doesn’t run from anything, so let’s just say he’s on hiatus, going incognito for a while, because 60% of the world will be looking for him after what he did his final “day”. The point is, how sweet was it in last week’s episode when darth vader armored Jack took over, and owned the shit out of Logan? Savagely killing guards after guards, torturing the crap out of the one who killed Rene. No, the ending had to be emotional again with Chloe crying her eyes out and Jack asking Chloe to keep Kim and her family safe. Why can’t they end it with a BOOM and a BAM Jack against the World kind of thing? It’s an action thriller for crying out loud. It’s not that I’m insensitive. I’m emotional; I listen to love songs; I watched Titanic but come on, this is Jack Bauer we’re talking about. How many dark places has he been in? How many people did he kill in 8 days plus that little redemption TV short? Biting off Pillar’s ear wasn’t that great either. Jack killed a man by biting into that man’s throat. Biting off an ear is like eating beans for Jack. And where the heck was Tony? Wasn’t he arrested in last season’s finale? He ain’t dead so he should been around. He should have been the one who helps Jack, okay, even though the good Tony bad Tony storyline was a bit much, I stand by my point. So, I’m happy to say that I won’t be watching the movie (I’m sure), and though the finale wasn’t satisfying (to me), it’s still one of the most innovative and daring shows considering season one debuted right after 9/11. Kudos to Jack.

Finally, House.

It’s the only show that I can use the word “LOVE”. The finale was awesome. Fits the story perfectly. The whole season building up to that one moment. There will be another season I’m sure since 13 leaves us hanging in the dark about her resignation. It’s the only show left for me that I’m positive I won’t be disappointed (hopefully I’m not jinxing it). I thought House was really going back on drugs again and it was very depressing, but Cuddy saves the day. Not much else to say. Just watch it.

It’s not me, it’s you

It’s true. It’s the way you make me feel. It’s the way you talk, the way you move. The way the world dissolves when you’re around. Yeah right, who do you think you are? Nah, kidding. It’s really me. Always moving. Your fault though. Doesn’t make sense. It shouldn’t. No meaning, or is there? Let’s not make excuses. Let’s face it. Life’s too short. Live, love, and learn right? Wrong. It’s hard to gather my thoughts. My thoughts exactly. Just about enough, and there it goes. Again. Once. Twice. Three blind mice. Stop it. This is for real. No more faking. No more denying. Accept it. You. Who? You. Okay me. Now what? Run. No. Go back. Possibly. It’s coming closer. Can’t be. It’s an illusion. Has to be. How? Look. There. Right beyond that edge. Don’t. Get away. That light. That noise. It’s mind-numbing. Think. Now. Too late. No need. Not anymore. It’s over. Get it? The end. El fin. Time’s up…but, no but. Leave it the way it is. A full circle. Right on.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

While reading the book Kristen Steward keeps popping into my head whenever Lisbeth Salander (the hacker) comes up in the scenes. The role is almost made for her. The movie is coming out in 2012 and there’s actually already one made in 2009 in Sweden: Man som hatar kvinnor. It looks like Carey Mulligan will get the part since Steward will be pretty busy filming the Twilight thing and another indie movie. The book itself is slow-paced in the beginning but then everything starts to build up. The descriptions are very graphic and intense and it’s very easy to picture the environment in which most of the story takes place. I recommend it. The third and last book of the series “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest” is already out and I still have yet to buy it.

I haven’t had much time to read because of work, which isn’t bad at all. I actually enjoy going to work. Our latest Census operation is called the Non-Response Follow-Up Re-Interview (NRFU RI) where we have to call to check on the quality of the work (interviewing households) by the enumerators. We’ve been getting hung up on and bitched at by some of the people we called, which is understandable since they’ve already given the interview and have been counted. It gets a little discouraging and we get to a point where we don’t want to call anymore. We don’t have a choice though so we try to make it as painless as possible. The problem with working for the Census is that they love verbatims (reading off of scripts word for word) and as one of my co-workers put it: the one thing you can count on working for the Census is that you can’t count on anything. Anyhow, the people I work with are great, there’s no competition since we’ll all be out of a job soon. It’s my day off tomorrow and I got a lot of crap to catch up on…I hadn’t written in weeks and I need to clean up my room, it’s become…chaotic, not that it wasn’t before but right now it’s pretty bad…and my Lakers just swept the jazz ALRIGHT! Suns next.

The Hunger Games

So, I recently bought a bunch of more books to read and the one that intrigued me the most is The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I first read about it online and it reminded me of the popular and controversial Japanese movie Battle Royale. The major difference is that in the movie everyone knew each other and have been classmates for a while. In the book, however, which is set in the near future, none of the “subjects” knew each other. The story goes that the nation of Panem, a Capitol surrounded by twelve districts that lie in the ruins of what was known as America, holds an annual Hunger Games that forces one boy and one girl from each of the districts to fight to the death (to keep order). Sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen from District Twelve takes her sister’s place in the Games and a fight for survival begins. It’s an entertaining book but the Japanese movie is somewhat better. There are many similarities between the two and I don’t want to spoil too much. Just read it, and watch the movie, it’s a great movie. Anyway, some other books I got include Heresy, The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (1), The Girl Who Played With Fire (2), and Catching Fire (which is series #2 of The Hunger Games). If you can’t tell already I love historical fiction, especially the ones which deal with religion and knowledge and hidden secrets (true or not). I’d also recommend Ghostwalk and The Devil’s Labyrinth if you’re into historical fiction (killings and murders and shit). I’m also planning to read all seven Harry Potter again I LOVE HARRY POTTER!

Vulnerability

I hate feeling vulnerable. That’s why most of the time (except for with my friends) I seem cold like slurpies giving someone a brain freeze on the outside. I let my guard down once I get to know someone but never completely off guard (except for with a very few close friends). It’s not a personality issue because if I wanted to I could talk to anyone out of the blue and have a great time. This pretentious superficial front that I sometimes put up is really similar to what Holden Caulfield (Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger) is like protecting himself hiding behind a wall if you will, “Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you’ll start missing everybody”. That’s where vulnerability kicks in. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I shouldn’t feel this way. Maybe vulnerability is just another word for trust courage or stupidity. Maybe it’s a leap of faith. But it only gets harder and harder to overcome this fear of being hurt, for physical wounds heal and may leave a soon-be-forgotten scar, but emotional wounds rarely heal and leave an invisible scar that will never be forgotten.

Anyway, I gotta work tomorrow…It’s a damn Saturday…balls…

Horrible quake shooks Chile

My prayers go out to Chile especially my friends, my students, and my familia. CNN has a bureau in Chile so extensive coverage is available there. 214 deaths so far and expected to rise. Communications are still down near the epicenter in Concepcion and there have been many aftershocks. Thanks to Facebook and the vast amount of social networks many people have been able to hear from friends and family. UStream has good live streaming of the local television in Chile and also the tsunami watch in Hawaii. God bless!

Looking ahead

It has been a while. January has been pretty dull except for a cruise trip I took to St. Martin, St. Thomas, and Puerto Rico onboard the Independence of the Seas. I also applied for the Census Bureau for part-time since they pay 22 bucks an hour. Before I left for the trip I did some research on, well, my future pretty much. I’ve been looking into the Peace Corps since I was in college and I’ve also been thinking about going back to school and getting my master’s degree. The problem was I wasn’t sure which subject I wanted to continue studying. It was between Comparative Literature, Spanish, French, or Education. After looking into the Peace Corps Masters International Program I found out that I could do both: Peace Corps and masters concurrently. So I did some searching and decided I wanted to stay close to home. Turned out that the Monterey Institute of International Studies has a master’s degree program in TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages). If I am accepted I can study a year there, receive my placement in Peace Corps, go there for 2 years, then come back and finish up my masters in another semester, then bam! Peace Corps and Masters Degree in the pocket. So fingers crossed =)

Other than that life has been pretty dull, the weather has been shitty and I have nothing to do except read. So I finally read Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol in one sitting (it is a page-turner). It was fun, fast-paced, and a mixture of facts and fiction, modern and ancient, like his previous works. At times Robert Langdon would just go on and on about symbols and histories that were hard to digest. I also started reading Paradise Lost again by John Milton (interestingly there was a reference to it in The Lost Symbol). I have a list of the classics (Greek mostly) waiting to be read or re-read (The Odyssey). These will keep me occupied.

Oh and apparently there is a Blogging Scholarship and the grand prize is $10000. That’s a lot of money…I need to wrap my brain around to come up with some ideas.

Changes…

Just kidding…nothing’s changed, for me anyway. It’s that time of year again: time to reflect on this past year, or in this particular year: the past decade. Reviews of music, movies, politics, news, and so on of this past decade are all over the internet; They have just about every category you can think of. It’s fun to read and to remember exactly where you were or what you were doing or even feeling when certain songs or movies came out or certain news happened. Memories are that powerful. I’m sure wishes and thank you notes are everywhere (A bunch on Facebook…mass tag photos). It’s nice and all but every one of them is pretty much the same. Technology is to blame…you don’t need to write 100 notes or cards or whatever, all you need is a social network or email, then you write about feelings and such deep from your heart, a few more clicks and bam, everyone of your friends received your note. Then they write you back and then your friends write something and send it to all of their friends and bla bla bla…you end up with many wishes and thank you notes that are the same…in essence. The problem is for many people, they send it to everyone…even people who they barely talk to or know. What’s the meaning of that? Out of kindness? Convenience? In any case, these messages should only be to those who truly matter to you and those who you truly care about. Happy New Year.