Category: Life

I cannot believe my last post here was over 3 months ago…I just haven’t had the time nor have I been in the right mood. At any rate, if everything goes as planned, I will graduate this summer with my Master’s Degree. Not that I am not enjoying graduate school, in fact, I am really starting to like what I have learned and probably will learn. The problem is that I need to get out of here, as in get out of the US and start teaching and traveling again. I am getting bored with being in California. The last time I was out of the country on my own was more than a year ago. One year in the same place is way too long for me. I need to keep moving. I constantly need new and interesting things to keep my mind engaged, hence, I do not have a planner or calendar of any kind. I just remember things.

The past week or so has been fun, intriguing, and stimulating. The classes I am taking are challenging and I have pretty much been reading a great deal of academic materials, even in my dreams. I was reading about a bunch of research and theories one late night for my Applied Linguistic Research class and I fell asleep. Subsequently, my mind continued reading about the research and I saw the texts clearly and I knew I was asleep, to an extent. I couldn’t completely control what I was doing (Lucid dreaming) but it was definitely the closest I have been. Anyway, I recommend this site for those who seek to keep their mind sharp. Peace.

So, for my sociolinguistic project I decided to do a research on today’s uses of expletives. It’s a very short survey and should take no more than 3 minutes. Please take it!

http://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/391931/A-short-survey-on-the-modern-use-of-expletives

 

Taking 6 classes for a total of 17 units is definitely taking its toll. This past month was a little bit of a blur in a way that I don’t know where all the time went. It was mainly class, homework, reading, sleep, and doing it all over. I am content though I’ll admit that. I did and do still have some doubts but that’s normal really. Anyway, I have to “vent” somewhere so this might as well be the place. Myriad thoughts always drift through my mind when I go to bed and I never fall asleep until 2 or 3 hours later. My brain has even been working every night because I haven’t had a dreamless night (which is a good thing) since…I don’t remember when.

I’m also starting to have doubts about Peace Corps and I haven’t the faintest idea why. I wish I could have the compass in the Pirates of the Caribbean that tells me what I want most…that would make things so much easier. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if I’m doing what my heart wants or if I’m doing what I think my heart wants or even if I’m doing what I think I’m expected to do. Feelings are associated with the heart, true, but the brain is the instrument that interprets these feelings. The brain is logical and rational but feelings aren’t. So, what I’m left with are more unanswered questions. Great.

It might seem that I’m pouring my heart out, but I’m really not, not on here anyway.

It’s been more than two years since I finished my last final exam and I thought then I’d be done with school forever. Life, however, has a way of maneuvering down strange roads that eventually led me back to…school. It’s the same in that it’s different. I’ve had a long enough break to take this on as something new. I’ve learned plenty during this long break, things that aren’t taught in school. I’m sure I’m well prepared and yet, I feel a sense of unfamiliarity. Something’s amiss. I can’t put it in words. It’s weird. In any case, I am excited and nervous about grad school. I shall see what it really is like tomorrow.

**8/31 – Tuesday

Well, at least I survived the first day. It’s only going to get harder from here on out. LOTS of reading and homework. I took too long of a break and got out of the habit of preparing for class and all that. Now I have to get back into it. It’s going to be fun though because my linguistic classes are right up my alley and so interesting. The professor has a good sense of humor and that helps. To feel better and get “everything” out of my system, I’m going to scream: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Game on.

“More than that”

Sitting next to me the first time we met,
Our conversation was so simple and short yet.
Something was different ’bout you not sure why,
Just another girl I thought and drifted off in my mind.

Days gone by and no idea how,
I ended up on the phone with you somehow.
You were looking for your friend you needed some help,
But she wasn’t there so I offered my hand.

Well fate had our paths crossed again,
Though sometimes things also happen by chance.
And so that’s how it went,
You and me became good friends.

Somehow I knew it meant more than that,
No words could describe the feeling I had.
Never got the courage to tell you how I felt,
For I knew we were both on a different track.

We didn’t see each other much after that,
The time we had too little to share.
Too few moments we had together,
But it felt like we were closer than ever.

Many times we caught each other’s eyes,
So many things hiding I thought I would die.
Nothing would come out no reason why,
I know you felt the same but it’s too hard to try.

Well fate had our paths crossed again,
Though sometimes things also happen by chance.
And so that’s how it went,
You and me became good friends.

Somehow I knew it meant more than that,
No words could describe the feeling I had.
Never got the courage to tell you how I felt,
For I knew we were both on a different track.

You had me, the moment, everything felt so right.
But tell me, how could we, so easily have, let it slipped away.

And there we were saying goodbye,
You had to leave wasn’t really your choice.
One last kiss and one last hug,
Everything I’ll treasure for you were the one.

It’s true. It’s the way you make me feel. It’s the way you talk, the way you move. The way the world dissolves when you’re around. Yeah right, who do you think you are? Nah, kidding. It’s really me. Always moving. Your fault though. Doesn’t make sense. It shouldn’t. No meaning, or is there? Let’s not make excuses. Let’s face it. Life’s too short. Live, love, and learn right? Wrong. It’s hard to gather my thoughts. My thoughts exactly. Just about enough, and there it goes. Again. Once. Twice. Three blind mice. Stop it. This is for real. No more faking. No more denying. Accept it. You. Who? You. Okay me. Now what? Run. No. Go back. Possibly. It’s coming closer. Can’t be. It’s an illusion. Has to be. How? Look. There. Right beyond that edge. Don’t. Get away. That light. That noise. It’s mind-numbing. Think. Now. Too late. No need. Not anymore. It’s over. Get it? The end. El fin. Time’s up…but, no but. Leave it the way it is. A full circle. Right on.