“We are disturbed not by things, but by the views which we take of things.” ~ Epictetus
An old Cherokee chief is teaching his grandchild about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the child. “It is a fight between two wolves. One is evil—it is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”
He continued, “The other is good—it is joy, peace, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and loving awareness. The same fight is going on inside you—and inside every other person in the world.”
The grandchild thought about it for a minute and then asked the grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
To which the old man simply replied, “The one you feed.”
The Cherokee parable and Epictetus’ teaching serve as a reminder that our inner world is shaped by choice, not chance. The two wolves represent real emotions, impulses, and habits that show up in our lives. We don’t choose whether these feelings exist; we only choose which ones we nurture.
Our reactions are often more influential than the events themselves. And this is essential, because what bothers us isn’t simply what happens, but the meaning we give those moments. And more often than not, that meaning is important because of the nature of our work or our lives, as well as our lived experiences and shared expectations. Often, this stirs up the wolf of anger, frustration, and resentment. But instead of feeding into those feelings, it’s much more helpful to see the difficult moments as opportunities to grow and to nourish the wolf of resilience, empathy, and compassion.
Remember that character is built choice by choice. Feeding the “good wolf” isn’t about being perfect—it’s about returning to the values we want to embody again and again. It’s about noticing when negativity pulls at us and gently choosing a different response. And over time, those small decisions shape who we become.
Ultimately, the power of choice comes down to this: we can’t always control our circumstances, but we can always decide which inner voice we allow to guide us. And sometimes it’s probably easier and feels better to let the evil voice reign and triumph. I always picture the angel and the devil on the shoulders – listening to the better angel of our nature is the way to go!
What do I know 